


Pair the Spares

by sunkelles



Series: Femslash February 2017 [5]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Black Lesbian POV character, F/F, Femslash February, Homophobic microaggressions, Never Have I Ever, fetishization of wlw characters by people close to them, minor kaldur/roy, one-sided snaibsel, unrequited crushes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9564656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: ¾ of the Team were already paired off and making out when Raquel joined.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. this is "projecting my own high school coming out experiences onto fictional characters" the fic. 
> 
> 2\. on wally's characterization: I tried to balance wally’s good qualities with his dickish ones. i think that i wrote him pretty in character, but he's a bit more homophobic than the rest of them. most of the characters are a little homophobic because internalization of societal expectations and teenagers, but, wally doesn’t just have microaggressions. he has macroaggressions. if the idea of wally existing while himself and homophobic is gonna turn you off the fic, you might want to exit the ride to your left. 
> 
> 3\. this is going solely by show canon and my own character interpretations. i know that there are some things that were confirmed as canon in comics or just by the creators, but i'm ignoring all of those that don't happen in show. 
> 
> 4\. last but not least, i am white. hella white, like can't dance or eat spicy food sort of white, so if i cross any lines in my portrayal of raquel, please let me know. i wanted to give a good portrayal and stepped out of my comfort zone, but if i did something offensive please let me know.

Raquel has been on the Team for four months, but she's never really felt like "part" of it. The rest of the kids were so tightly knit when she joined up. Hell, ¾ of them were already paired off and making out. She felt like the outsider, always playing catch up, no matter how hard she tried to feel like part of the group.

 

Then Zatanna and Robin broke up, which made things a little easier. At least Raquel didn't have to hear about _three_ couples anymore.

 

She felt like she was being smothered by heterosexuality for a while. Now she's only being slowly suffocated by it, like she's trapped in a room that's very slowly having the air sucked out of it. She's still suffocating, but not as badly. It won't kill her for a while.

 

The Team has regular meetings on Thursday nights, but this one's not "regular". Something actually happens. Robin makes an announcement, which is not, “Zatanna and I have gotten back together, and we’re going to make out and make Rocket, specifically, jealous, and make, Rocket, specifically, feel left out.” At this point, though, it didn’t seem like a totally ridiculous conclusion to jump to.

 

"A villain in Gotham threatened my life," Robin says. Raquel feels bad that she’s a little relieved by that.

"Sounds like a regular Tuesday for you," Artemis says. Raquel thinks it's a joke, but with Artemis sometimes it's hard to tell. She _does_ flirt with her boyfriend by insulting him mercilessly.

"Are you sure it's alright?" Wally asks gently.  Robin gives the impression of rolling his eyes, but because he wears sunglasses all the damn time she can't honestly tell.

"It was no biggie, but B is acting like they might actually get me. He's put me on house arrest here."

"That's exciting!" M'gann says happily. Robin, Artemis and Wally send her a confused look.

"I meant the house arrest, not the death threats," M'gann says.

"M'gann," Kaldur says, "I am not sure Robin finds either of those things exciting."

"Uh, yeah," Robin says.

"I just thought we could all stay here and keep you company," M'gann says, "it would be like a big, fun sleepover, like in the movies!" No one feels right mentioning that the sleepover aesthetic she's imagining from the movies is normally just straight, cis girls. With all the guys, that completely shatters it. Plus, there’s her, the lesbian that none of them know about. They’re just shattering M’gann’s fantasy left and right, honestly.

 

Soon enough though, they've all made plans for a big sleepover. Raquel hasn't been to a sleepover since she was little. When she got to middle school, she chopped off her hair and started dressing butch enough the straight girls didn't want her around. Homophobia hits early and it hits hard, but she eventually just got used to it. By the time she realized she was a lesbian, the homophobia and exclusion were more of a dull ache than a burning pain.

 

She dealt with it. But now she tries not to let the excitement she feels about going to another one show.

 

A few of them zeta to Happy Harbor to pick up junk for the sleepover. They come back with an armful of discount DVDs, four two liters of pop, and five bags of junk food.

 

"Since Robin's the death threat boy," Wally says, "I thought he should decide what we do first."

"Never Have I Ever," Robin says.

"Dude," Artemis says, "that's the _most_ generic thing you could have suggested."

"No," Wally says, "it's like a half step up from truth or dare."

"Babs and her friends always play Never Have I Ever at these kind of things," Robin grumbles.

"We said Robin could choose," M'gann says.

"I'm down for Never Have I Ever," Raquel says. It's not like they'll notice her answers anyway. No one ever does. Artemis sighs.

"Alright, but you _usually_ do that later in the night," Artemis says, "and you're less sober."

"You drink?" Raquel asks. She kind of thought she was the only one here who had.

"Uh, yeah," Artemis says, "I went to Gotham South. It happens."

"Can you hook us up, babe? Like, I've never drank before and that sounds fun," Wally says.

"Yeah," Robin says, "Never Have I Ever is normally a drinking game. You take a sip when you've done something. We could get hella turnt.”

“Please,” Raquel says, shuddering, “ _never_ say that again.” Robin is too white to be saying shit like that.

"No alcohol in the Cave," Kaldur says firmly. 

"But-"

"No alcohol in the Cave," Kaldur repeats.

"Fine," Robin says, "we can play the lame version where you put down a finger. You know, that lame version that lame people play." They set the junk food down on the coffee table, and they all sit down on one of the couches.

"Never have I ever been human," Conner says. Everyone puts down a finger except M'gann, who grins at him. Raquel takes a sip of Mountain Dew.

"Thanks, Conner," she tells him.

"Never have I ever had a secret identity," Zatanna says with an enormous grin on her face. Everyone but Artemis lays down a finger.

"You said you were Green Arrow's niece when we met," Conner says. Artemis glares, and then sets her finger down.

"Never have I ever kissed a boy," Raquel says.

"But we saw you kiss Kaldur," Robin says.

"On the lips," Raquel adds, rolling her eyes. Robin seems placated by the addition, but Wally does not. 

"What ever happened to you two?" Wally asks, "like, it seemed like you had something going on but then nothing happened."

"Yeah, Kaldur's cute and all but," Raquel lets the words trail off. She doesn't really want to come out right now, and she'll let them fill in that blank however they see fit. Kaldur looks a little uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry if I gave you that impression, Kaldur. I just thought it would be fun to kiss at New Years. I didn't want us to be the lonely onlys."

"You did not give me that impression," Kaldur assures her, "and I am not lonely. I have a boyfriend." He holds up his hand, showing that he put down a finger for "has kissed a boy on the lips".

 

Raquel feels a lot of things in that moment: shock, relief, community. But mainly she feels like she needs to retune her gaydar.

 

"Oh, um, cool?" Wally says, sounding a uncomfortable, "who is it?"

"Red Arrow," Kaldur says matter-of-factly.

"How did we not know this?" Wally asks Robin.

"He was worried the Team would not be accepting," Kaldur says, "the surface world is... less accepting than Atlantis."

"Dude," Robin says, "we aren't homophobes or anything. We're just kind of surprised. Neither of you seemed gay."

"We are both bisexual," Kaldur says. The silence is deafening. Robin looks almost angrily at Zatanna, who looks immediately away. The rest of the group just looks awkward.

 

Raquel is very glad to know that Kaldur is someone she can feel comfortable with, but she is not so sure about the rest of the Team.

"Can we get back to the game?" Conner asks, "I was actually winning."

"Yeah, because you're an actual infant who hasn’t done anything,” Wally says.

"I would be a toddler," Conner says. Raquel can't tell if it's a joke or a statement. Her life has become so goddamn weird.

"Can we please stop?" M'gann asks, "you're grossing me out.” Apparently, M’gann doesn’t want to think about the actual amount of time that Conner’s been alive. Considering the fact that they’re together, Raquel doesn’t blame her.

Artemis says, "Never have I ever had superpowers" and everyone but Robin puts down a finger. Then, it's M'gann's turn.

"Never have I ever kissed a _girl_ on the lips," M'gann says, conspiratorially. Raquel watches Wally, Conner and Robin put down fingers and forces her own down as well. She doesn't expect anyone to notice, not really. Except M'gann's a telepath, and she notices _everything_.

“Um,” M’gann says, “Raquel, did you hear me right?” Raquel glares.

"Yeah," Raquel says, holding her hand up high and nearly waving it in M'gann's face, "I'm a lesbian. Got a problem with that?" An awkward silence settles over the Team, except for Artemis, who almost looks excited, and Zatanna, who looks a little awkward.

"I do not," Kaldur assures her.

"Gee, thanks Kal," Raquel says, "but I was worried about the rest of them." Artemis nudges Zatanna. Wally laughs awkwardly.

"Okay," Wally says, "anybody else want to come out tonight? Anybody, any takers?" There’s silence, for a moment, before Zatanna breaks it.

“I am,” Zatanna says softly, "that's why Robin and I broke up." More awkward silence, except for Artemis grinning. Wally claps his hands awkwardly. No one speaks. Wally laughs even more awkwardly.

"Okay, wow,” he says, “I wasn’t expecting that. Anyone else?” No one else speaks.

“Come on, Rob, admit it, you've been into me for years," Wally says, "you just can't resist my charm." Robin glares.

"Ugh, stop that," Artemis says, sounding frustrated by her boyfriend, "you're gonna make Zee uncomfortable." The awkward silence continues for a little while longer.

"Let's play another game," Conner says, "this got... personal."

"Seven minutes in heaven," M'gann suggests.

"I do not think that is less personal," Kaldur says.

"Sounds fun though," Robin says. Raquel doesn’t want to play, not really, but she won’t let any of them actually kiss her. It’ll just be an awkward seven minutes locked wherever the rest of them choose. She’ll survive, so she doesn’t protest.

Robin pours everyone multiple cups of Mountain Dew, and then they use the empty two liter to start a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven. Conner spins the bottle, and it lands on Robin. Robin pulls out a deck of UNO cards.

“I know what we’re doing,” he says. Conner looks relieved, and Robin leads him to the boy’s locker room.

“So,” M’gann says, “do we want to wait until they get back or?”

“I’ll spin,” Zatanna says. There are enough places in the Cave for them to all, hypothetically, go off and do whatever they choose for seven minutes or even the rest of the night. 

 

Zatanna spins the bottle, and it lands in front of Raquel. Artemis elbows Zatanna, and sends her a knowing look. Artemis is _not_ a subtle person, and Raquel’s ninety nine point six percent sure that she’s trying to set them up.

 

"Can you film it?" Wally asks. Raquel feels something yucky settle at the bottom of her stomach, and sees the same sour, uncomfortable look on Zatanna's face. She almost yells at him, but Artemis beats her to it.

"Wally!"

"For science," he says, crossing his arms over his chest, "I'm not a perv." Raquel glares, and then sends Zatanna a soft look.

“Let’s go,” she says. They walk through the Cave, and Raquel tries to block out whatever conversation Artemis and Wally are having. Then, they get to the girls’ locker room. The moment the door slams behind her, Raquel feels lips on hers.

It’s a shock, but a pleasant one. A really pleasant one, and it takes Raquel a second to gather her thoughts. It takes her a moment to remember that no, she didn't want this. Raquel pushes Zatanna off.

"Rocket?"

"Sorry," Raquel says, "I just- I don't just make out with anyone." Raquel wants to be gentle about this. She doubts if Zatanna is out to many people, and she’s probably never experienced anything like whatever the fuck Wally thought he was doing, or like the rejection of being ripped away from a kiss. Zatanna looks confused for a second.

"But you're-"

"Gay?"' Raquel asks, and she finds herself becoming less and less gentle, "doesn't mean I'll kiss just anyone."

"It's just a game," Zatanna says, looking a little insulted, "and _you_ brought me in here. I thought you were down with it."

"I just wanted to get us away from Kid Flash," Raquel says. Zatanna bites her lip, but she seems like she gets that. She wouldn’t have wanted to be near him any longer either, with him acting like that. 

“Why didn’t you want to kiss me?” Zatanna asks, sounding self-conscious.

“Why did you want to kiss _me_?” Raquel asks. It looks like Zatanna might respond, so Raquel plows on.

"You just realized you were gay," Raquel says, "come on, there has to be someone special. Someone you'd rather do this with, whoever caused your Big Gay Awakening maybe?" Zatanna bites her lip, and looks away.

 

Then Raquel puts it together.

 

"It was Artemis, wasn't it?" Zatanna looks away, but she nods.

"And you told her you liked me, when you came out to her," Raquel guesses. It seems like a reasonable assumption, given Artemis’s reactions.

"She's my best friend," Zatanna says, "I couldn't just tell her, tell her that I _liked_ her. When I came out to her, she asked me how I realized, and I kind of panicked. I just said it was you.” Zatanna smiles softly.

“I didn't even know you were gay,” she finishes, laughing a little.

"Why does no one pick up on that?" Raquel asks, "I'm not subtle about it." Zatanna laughs, more earnestly this time.

"Yeah, you really aren't, you're pretty in your face about it." Raquel leans up against a locker, trying to look casual.

“And what do you think about that?” she asks.

"It's kind of hot," Zatanna says, grinning.

"Is it?" Raquel asks, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah, it is."

"Hotter than Artemis's midriff?"  And there it goes, any flirty atmosphere is killed when she brings up Zatanna's actual crush. Zatanna glares.

"You killed the mood." 

"There wasn't a mood. You're not into me, I was just reminding you of that." Zatanna rolls her eyes. 

"I _do_ like you." 

"Sure you do, little Miss Pinning a Straight Girl."  

"I do,” Zatanna asserts.

"You don't even know me," Raquel says. Zatanna doesn't even know her real name. They don't have anything to build a relationship on. 

"I know that you're funny, and I know that our powers work well together, and that we accidentally flirt when we train. And we were just flirting right then and there and it was _nice_.  And I know that I'm really attracted to you and want to know you better, Rocket."

"I don't know anything about you," Raquel counters. Zatanna's more open than Raquel is, but all of Raquel's knowledge of her is surface level. Just because she knows her name and where she's from doesn't mean she  _knows_ her. 

"My name's Zatanna Zatara," she says, "I've never had a secret identity. My dad became Dr. Fate last year, and it was all my fault." Her voice breaks a little on that, but she plows on.

"I like breaking the rules, and long walks on the beach, and I just realized I was gay last month. And yeah, I realized because of Artemis, but I like you too. And I have a _chance_ with you, if you'll let me try." Raquel feels her heart racing a little. She’s dated girls before, and she’s dated girls that she _likes_ before. But none of them ever laid themselves out like that. It’s kind of hot.

"I'd really like to, Rocket."

"Raquel," she says, her voice a little gravely.

 Zatanna looks a little confused, so she says, “That's my real name. If we're gonna date, you should probably know it." Zatanna smiles widely. 

"Ekam a esor," Zatanna chants. A bright, red rose materializes in her hand. Then, she gives it to Raquel. 

"Romance isn't just for the straights," she says. Raquel laughs.

“Oh my god,” she says, but she’s excited and happy and a little hopeful. You know, maybe this can work. Maybe they can _make_ it work. 


End file.
